When I'm Gone
by California Mountain girl
Summary: This is a Jaina Zekk song fic. The song three doors down, I've worked it into this fic. It's going through the Vong war then ends at the end of the war.
1. Default Chapter

.Imagine what it could have been.  
  
A.N. I don't know what it was like in the other books since I didn't really get into them. Actually I didn't read them.But this is the separation of Jaina and Zekk before the war, then what it's like when they are reunited. Enjoy guys.  
  
Atop the Jedi Temple.  
  
Zekk watched as the sun set behind the dense jungle of Yavin four. The light wind was fresh with the scents of the jungle, and the rain that had happened earlier.  
  
"You look sad," Said a familiar voice next to him, "What's the matter?"  
  
"I didn't notice you come up." Zekk said, as Jaina sat down next to him.  
  
"I doubt it." Jaina said, pulling her long brown hair over her left shoulder.  
  
Zekk looked up at her, then turned back to the sunset.  
  
Jaina wasn't unused to these actions, she had seen them before. He wouldn't sulk or rent when he was worried or discouraged, he'd simply contemplate.And think.And eventually tell her. "Zekk, tell me. What's troubling you? You've been up here for hours."  
  
Zekk smiled, "And I thought nobody knew where I was."  
  
Jaina rubbed his back, "I can always feel you. You know that."  
  
Zekk sighed, "Yeah, I know."  
  
"Zekk?"  
  
The dark haired young man gestured out over the jungle, "I can feel this is all going to be gone some day. I can feel it Jaina." He could sense Jaina's shock through the force.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"I don't know." Zekk answered, rubbing his forehead. "I've just got this feeling."  
  
"I guess things have to change some time." Jaina said quietly.  
  
"I guess." Zekk said, wrapping his arms around her. "But if you don't change I wont."  
  
Jaina laughed, "Then I won't change."  
  
Zekk looked out over the jungle again. The feeling still lurked at the back of his mind, but the soft feeling of Jaina in his arms dimmed the dark sensation of the future. He could never understand to her what it was he felt, she wouldn't understand.  
  
There's another world inside of me that you may never see.  
  
There's secrets in this life that I can't hide.  
  
Somewhere in this darkness there's a life that I can't find.  
  
Maybe it's too far away or maybe I'm just blind, maybe I'm just blind.  
  
A.N. to be continued!!! 


	2. Chapter TWO

Chapter TWO!  
  
*(Two Years Later)*  
  
"I guess this is goodbye." Zekk said quietly, looking down at his feet.  
  
Jaina glanced around the overcrowded landing field of the Jedi Temple. Everyone had been issued their orders, and heading out. The Vong had struck, and the Republic needed the Jedi Knights. She had been given the position of captain over a wing of top notch star fighters. While Zekk had been assigned as commander over the mobile infantry on the first Vong planet the Republic had been able to take. Bathazan.  
  
"I guess so." She answered. "You hologram me whenever you can, okay?"  
  
Zekk nodded. He didn't ever think saying goodbye would be this hard. But it was. "I will."  
  
Jaina tried her solo grin- but for some reason it just wasn't working. "And don't make me come and rescue you." She said, her voice wavering.  
  
"I wont!" Zekk said, trying to make the conversation as light as possible.  
  
Jaina looked up at him, her eyes quiet and watching.  
  
Quickly, Zekk pulled her into a tight hug. He could feel she was shaking. "Don't worry about me." He said quietly, "Just take care of yourself. That way things will be just fine. I know it."  
  
"Uh-huh." Jaina mumbled, burying her face in his chest.  
  
Zekk looked up, seeing the ship he had transport on getting ready to leave. "I've gotta go."  
  
Jaina stepped back. "I guess I'll see ya laterz, then."  
  
Zekk smiled, gave her a cocky salute, and turned to leave. He moved like a droid, 'cause he was so stiff. He knew he was doing the right thing, the honorable thing. It was the only solution. She was going too, leaving the Jedi Academy. Possibly never returning to the place he considered home. He probably would never come back either, it was a stage of his life that was soon coming to a close. But he would never want to give up Jaina, and it felt horrible leaving her. It was the first time in so long they weren't going to be together.  
  
"Hey Zekk!"  
  
Zekk turned to Jaina's call, and caught her as she ran into his arms. She kissed him hard on the lips, and he returned it.  
  
When the kiss ended, Jaina leaned up next to his ear. "I love you Zekk. Don't forget it."  
  
"I love you too. And I'll never forget it." Zekk replied. "No goodbyes."  
  
Jaina took a step back, and watched as Zekk turned and ran to his transport. Just before Zekk disappeared into the belly of the ship he turned back to her. Just as the ramp closed. Separating them.  
  
Zekk looked out the portal as the ship lifted off, going up into the sky. He kept his eyes on Jaina until she was just a little dot on the field. Then watched as she disappeared behind a white cloud.  
  
"You better not be all soft when you get to Banthazan, kid." An older officer said, popping his back while sitting in a near seat.  
  
"You better keep your worry to yourself." Zekk said harshly. "Unless you want a knuckle sandwich." Zekk turned his attention fully to the man next to him, and sitting down in the window seat. Normally, back when he was a street kid on Couriscant he would have used different words to explain fully that he wanted the man to mind his own business. But his years at the Jedi Acadamy had taught him to watch his language. And he'd only use his full vocabulary when he's farther than he was now from the Jedi training center.  
  
The officer eyed him, taking in the lightsaber at the young man's belt, and the dangerous glare that was in his eyes. "No offence, buddy."  
  
Zekk turned back to look out the window. Letting the Force flow through him. Reaching out and feeling Jaina's presence again, knowing that as soon as they reached hyperspace it wouldn't be as strong. She was reaching out for him too, and it was a comforting sensation. One he knew he'd need before the war was over.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~~~  
  
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong.  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone.  
  
Everything I am and everything in me  
  
Wants to be the one you wanted me to be.  
  
I'll never let you down even if I could.  
  
I'd give up everything if only for your good.  
  
To be continued! YIPPIE! 


	3. chp THREE

Chapter Three  
  
*(Nine Months Later)*  
  
Jaina Solo had practically heard the alarm before it had gone off. Enemy squadrons in their sector. And as usual, she was the first to the fighters.  
  
"All wings ready?" She asked into the com in her helmet.  
  
"All set commander." Danzul, her wingman, answered.  
  
"Perfect." Jaina answered, warming up the X-wing's engines, and slipping on her gloves. "Red-blue-gold. Follow me."  
  
"Right behind you Commander."  
  
Jaina taxied her X-wing out of the hanger, the sides of her mouth forming a vicious grin. Time to go Vong hunting.  
  
She brought her X-wing up in a tight ark, taking her away from the hidden base on the dark side of the moon Iysis. Where they had been hiding for a week for just this opportunity. Time to play bad-Jedi and purely take them out. Despite herself, she was beginning to like ambushes. They kept casualty rating at a low, and their success to a high.  
  
Jaina weaved her X-wing in and out of the asteroid field that formed a ring around the planet. The scanners had picked up the signals off the seventh quadrant- and that's where she was headed.  
  
"We're getting close." Jaina said quietly, as she kept one eye on piloting and the other on her on-board scanner. The closer she got to the bunch of black dots the closer she got to the Vong. It was that easy, strange how easy, but just that easy. "Alright people, time to show our stuff. Let's make them wish they were never hatched."  
  
"As always." A young flyer answered, cocky in his inexpedience.  
  
Jaina laughed, shaking her head. "Don't try to show off red-five. Alright everyone...Spring it!"  
  
The Republic X-wings swooped down on their prey, mercilessly, in repayment of all the times they had not been shown mercy. Jaina remembered the first time she had been given command over a squadron. Her mother, Leia Organa Solo had said, 'Don't give mercy, you won't get any.' And Jaina knew that it was a fact.  
  
Jaina had one in her sites, and pommeled the enemy ship without forgiveness. Until it was reduced to pulverized dust. She got another in her sites, and it suffered the same fate. A brief explosion of fire and flame, then nothingness in the blackness of space.  
  
"They're on my tail!"  
  
The voice in her helmet sounded young- and scared. Jaina looked around wildly, "Where are you Red Five?"  
  
"Bearing Five Seven Niner, I don't think I can keep him off much longer."  
  
Jaina put her ship into a tight spiral, "I'm coming." It wasn't a second until she saw him, the young pilot was being chased by three vong fighters. She came in behind one, "Time to say bye bye..." she muttered under her breath. In two seconds it was blown away, then the next, and then the last. Before they had known what hit them.  
  
"Thanks." The kid said, his voice shaking only a little. "You saved me from becoming space dust."  
  
"No problem." Jaina said, then laughed, "I try not to litter."  
  
Danzul's voice came over her headset, "Mission accomplished Commander. They are all fleeing, crippled, or non-existant."  
  
"Give me the numbers." Jaina ordered."Any casualties on our side?"  
  
"No casualties," her wing-man reported. "Fifty Vong fighters destroyed, seven crippled, and eleven fleeing."  
  
Jaina smiled, "Nice work people. Now, lets go home."  
  
2*(*(*(*(*(*(*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*)*1  
  
Jaina was the last to taxi her fighter into the docking bay. Almost everyone had left already, going off to have a nice refreshing bathe in the 'fresher- or watch a halo, or just return to their quarters to get some sleep. The last choice was what she was going to do.  
  
Walking away from her fighter she ran her fingertips down it's nose. The sleek X-wing had it's tricks still in it. Beaten and jurry-wrigged together it was a great star fighter. The first time she had looked at it she was a little disappointed. But now she had flown over a hundred missions- and it was strange how someone could get attached to something. It was like how her father had gotten so attatched to the Falcon. The cockpit felt right, and the controls were smooth sailing all the way.  
  
She left the docking bay, smiling over her shoulder.  
  
8********************************************8  
  
In her own quarters Jaina kicked off her boots, and let down her long brown hair. Running her fingers through it, and wondering just how dark it was now -because of the lack of sunshine.  
  
She quickly changed out of her jumpsuit- and put on a t-shirt and sweats. It was time for her to send a halo. To a certain Jedi Knight who's only mail came from her.  
  
Jaina sat on her bed, holding the hand held recorder. "Hi Zekk. Holograming from parts unknown, just saying hi. I know it's been awhile but-" Jaina told about her quarters, the news about her brothers, and last of all, "I love you. No goodbyes." With that, she turned off the recorder and keyed in the address, Zekk's name, code, and their secret password. And the message was sent. Halfway across the galaxy- to Zekk's outpost in the wilderness of Bathazan.  
  
Quietly, she got into bed. Pulling the light blanket up around her chin she wondered what Zekk was doing at the moment. Where he was, and if he was alright. His presence was far away, dim as a star in the summer sky. But he was there. Somewhere...Off on the far planet...  
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong,  
  
You can hold me when I'm scared but you wont always be there,  
  
So love me when I'm gone, love me when I'm gone,  
  
When your education x-ray cannot see under my skin.  
  
I won't tell you a damn thing that I could not tell my friends.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED! 


	4. chap Four!

Chapter Four  
  
**(Mobile Infantry Camp: Bathazan)**  
  
"Captain! Ya got mail!"  
  
Zekk looked up from where he sat on his bunk. Reaching out his hand, the holo-chip the young private held with a bunch of others flew to him.  
  
"Hey, can you get ours too?" The guy named Nathanial asked, who sat on his bunk above him.  
  
"Sure." Zekk mumbled, already opening his the halo, but motioning with his left hand. Filling the air with flying Holo-clips from homes all across the galaxy.  
  
"Thanks, Captain." Nathanial said. "And who is your holo-grammar, Captain?"  
  
Zekk looked up at his friend. "Jaina."  
  
"Jaina?" Nathanial crunched up his nose, "Jay-na? What Kinda name is that?"  
  
"It's a good name." Zekk answered, laughing.  
  
"Well, a name is not a name- till I see a face!" Nathanial said, climbing down. "Let's see your girl than!"  
  
Zekk lifted an eyebrow, than turned on the holo. It sputtered at first, than reveled Jaina's face. Her hair was flowing around her, and she smiled. The small blue image showed that she was in a t-shirt and sweats. Her feet were bare and dangled over an invisible object she had been sitting on.  
  
"Hi Zekk. Holograming from parts unknown, just saying hi-" The image was paused, and Nathanial groaned.  
  
"That's what she looks like, now get lost!" Zekk said, pushing his nosey friend away.  
  
"Alright! Alright!" Nate said, getting back up onto his own bed. "So how long have you known this Jaina, lover-boy?"  
  
"Since I was about fourteen."  
  
"Dang." Nate's eyes rolled, "that's a long time."  
  
"I guess so." Zekk said, leaning back against the durra steal wall. Then he pressed play. Letting the image keep going this time.  
  
"I know I haven't hallowed in a while. But I've been busy. You know what I mean." Zekk smiled as the halo fidgeted nervously, Jaina never did like making holos. "I heard Jason and Anakin are doing well. Jason actually asked Tenil Ka to marry him- and I still don't know if she said yes or not. But I think she said yes." Jaina ran a hand through her long brown hair. "Where I'm set up now is pretty nice. We don't go very many places. Isolated. But nice. They even have a gally here that stays open all night." Jaina laughed, "Well, I gotta go. Sorry this is so short." She paused, and the camera zoomed up on her face as it always does when it begins to shut down. "I love you. No goodbyes." And with that, the message ended.  
  
As soon as the halo switched off, the lights in the room flickered- then died. A tingle went down Zekk's neck. Immediately, he scrambled from his bunk, stuffing Jaina's halo in his pocket. "Incoming! Everybody to your stations! Come on-"  
  
And that- was when half of the base blew up in a blinding white light and fire. Half of the 4009 men who had camped there were obliterated instantly...  
  
)()(*****************************)()(  
  
Now roaming through this darkness I'm alive but I'm alone.  
  
Part of me is fighting this but part of me is gone,  
  
So hold me when I'm here right me when I'm wrong,  
  
Hold me when I'm scared and love me when I'm gone,  
  
Love me when I'm gone...  
  
))(******************************)((  
  
To be continued? 


	5. chp five

Chapter Five  
  
(**(Mobile Infantry Camp: Ground Zero)**)  
  
Burning. On his left side- from his stomach to his shoulder. The pain made Zekk scream. But he was well taught- Either his training from life, or what he received from the Jedi Academy he knew he had a job. And he'd be damned if he didn't do it.  
  
Zekk concentrate on the Force. Not to heal himself, but to block out the pain that was telling him most of the left side of his body had received first degree burns. Healing himself would take time and energy, and he didn't have them.  
  
He looked around, everything was pitch black. And he heard voices in the dark, and smelled the stink of burnt clothing, hair, and flesh.  
  
Zekk felt something move next to his leg, "Captain, help me... Please!"  
  
Zekk immediately recognized the voice as Nathaniel. Zekk's heart was in his mouth as he reached down and touched his friend. The simple touch told him through the force that Nathaniel was burnt horrible on his back and legs, and also that his friend was going to die if he didn't get him medical help. Reaching out though the force he could tell that many were dying around him.  
  
The Vong were cleaver and had hit the sleeping soldiers. Knowing that during the rest cycle that the manned gun turrets would only have a skeleton crew. And that the skeleton crew couldn't be replaced by the real man power if they were dead or dying.  
  
Zekk reached down, trying to get Nathaniel to his feet. "We'll get you to a medic," Zekk said, "Everything will be fine. You're going to be alright."  
  
"Anybody here and not needing medical attention?" Zekk asked.  
  
"I'm alright, sir." A voice in the dark said.  
  
"And I, sir." another answered. Soon those voices were accompanied by a dozen others.  
  
Zekk recognized all of the voices. "Rymes, Keneda, and Jonnath- take all the wounded outta here. Get them to the underground medical stations. The rest of you, follow me."  
  
The men obeyed him. Grateful to have orders.  
  
Zekk, on the other hand, was past judging and worrying about making decisions. He gave the orders, and they obeyed it. His mind was alert as it could be even though practically half of his body was burned, and he used it to its full potential.  
  
The bombe the Vong had dropped was an energy pressure handren. It burned everything with pure energy. Not the same as fire. It burned everything in it's path, but never sent anything on fire literally. It was like shooting micro-waves at someone and watching them sizzle from an invisible flame. It was lucky that it wasn't like the old fashion flame throwers though. The building was singed. Not totally burned to the ground. But the bombe had penetrated the roof and landed right in their midst.  
  
Zekk opened the door, and led his troops out into the shadows. But the sky was anything but peaceful. Vong fighters and bombers littered the ground with laser fire. Explosions made the ground shake, and the deafening sound of catastrophic crashing sounds made Zekk's ears ring. But quickly he forgot about the sound as he noticed a fighter was flying strait at them. He realized it must have picked up the men's heat signatures.  
  
"Down!"  
  
The men dove for cover, but there wasn't really any to speak of. Zekk leapt up, grimacing when he noticed he was a big fat target, but what the hell.  
  
Reaching his arms up he grappled the Vong ship in mid air. Stretching out through the Force he grabbed the fighter, and held it there.  
  
Sweat ran down Zekk's forehead, and into his eyes. Making them sting. But the slight irritation was the least of his problems. He concentrated, struggling to keep the ship from firing it's cannons. Master Skywalker's words kept going through his head. 'size matters not, judge me by my size do you?' Of course when he'd first heard that saying Zekk had still be shorter than the Jedi Master. But when he left he'd been about two inches taller.  
  
Zekk tightened his grip on the fighter, crushing it in his grip so it wasn't more than a piece of organic matter. But still organic matter had density. He found that it was a lot easier to control now that it didn't have engines fighting against him. Taking it in his Force-grasp he sent it crashing into an unsuspecting Vong bomber.  
  
The men who lay in the shadows stared at their captain. It wasn't every day you saw someone stop a fighter by just looking at it and then crushing it, and then pulverizing another one with it.  
  
Zekk glanced over his shoulder, letting his arms down again. 


End file.
